So, tonight was fun. Queen Extravaganza with my uncle and Nikk at the House of Blues. I was a bit underwhelmed at first, what with having seen the Queen tribute earlier last year, but it picked up in the second half of the show.
I didn’t realize there would be four singers, and I was only expecting this one guy, Marc Martel (who is this dude who looks and sounds like Freddie, but is still notably different). Nikk and I soon navigated through the four singers and dubbed them: rocker guy, the chick, that other guy, and the Freddie guy (Martel). Mmm. Queen music live.
- I cried during Under Pressure, as always. I collapsed in happy and my vision was clouded by HAPPY CRIES.
- I was the lonely scream two seconds into the One Vision intro, and lost my voice in the lyrics.
- I think I slapped a woman during Don’t Stop Me Now.
- There is a chance I was acting out the lyrics in mad gesticulation to Love of My Life. Mfff, that song.
- Radio Ga Ga was all the dancing. You know what, all the songs were all the dancing.
- “TOO MUCH METAL FOR ONE HAAAAND. AHHH.” -Nikk
- Bad morning made better by the weather
- Stuffed peppers, coffee, electric fans
- Relative’s place for bbq and chill time
- Watching the kids derp around the blow-up pool
- YOUNG JUSTICE AHHHH
- My 5 year old cousin bit my cheek (what)
- Bubble tea and wading on the beach at dusk
- Fire pit, wind, lawn chairs, talking business with the adults
- …First surprise birthday cake ever, and singing; even the kids were in on it
Best cry/ugly cry/ninja cry
Cousin blows out my candle
The “20” on the cake makes it feel official - Talk with Kim on the way home; catharsis
- Remember that people can be good, and that no matter how difficult a situation is, you can always think of something to smile about and be thankful for.
Oh, nonononono, fuck that
My sister is trying to get the family together for Thanksgiving weekend (Nov 21-25) which are the exact dates that I’m planning a Rossocon for.
NOPE, NOT HAPPENING.
As much as I love my family, I made the Rossocon obligation first, and I absolutely do not want to let that go. No way. Besides, I’ll be with them that previous weekend for my sister’s senior play (musical?) in preforming arts college.
NOPE. Not letting those faces go without seeing them for more than a year. Fuck that.
"True love doesn’t mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes."
Anonymous (via welcome-to-myhell)
Spending the evening with my relatives up north in Evanston (about an hour’s train ride from the Loop) to talk about paperwork for the apartment we’re applying for on Sunday.
Of course, I ended up spending the evening watching Alvin and the Chipmunks - Chipwrecked with the little ones and chasing after the dog with them in the backyard. I am disheveled.
Alexis, my 2 year old cousin, gave me this Hello Kitty bracelet. She gave me like, 10, but I only kept one.
ps. My computer is totally dead, so my school sent it to the Apple store, and lent me a computer in the mean time. It’s totally obsolete.
I’m working on a Spanish essay about my family, listening to Spanish music about flies in the house, and remembering the conditions in my house in the Philippines.
Yeah, we had flies in the house over there, the mornings always smelled like tuyo and toyo. Some rice, too. And the dogs would be barking, the kids would be screaming, and the television was probably blaring something silly like Eat Bulaga or Rosalinda.
And then I started thinking about the prompt, “what do you do with each of your family members?”
…And I’m kind of sad, because I can’t think of anything I do with just my dad. I…Sit at the table, watch soccer sometimes, discuss his business or my school thingies, and then, that’s it.
Hmm.
So, back in Chicago, by the way.
Really enjoying being back in my environment again. How I’ve missed physical relationships with friends and family, oh my goodness. Really makes you appreciate the things you are given, and live with.
i don’t know if you can hear me, or if you’re even there~
I realize that I have been posting a lot lately, so I do apologize for clogging up anybody’s dashboards.
I’ve been having a lot on my mind lately, but I think I should just learn to shut up about it. On and on, I can talk about what’s going through my head, or what I think about the things I see, but it really doesn’t matter.
Mostly I guess I’m just wondering if someone is listening to me. If someone is listening, and unafraid to let me know that they’re listening. Unafraid, unashamed, and willing to listen, no matter how nonsensical. I guess I’d like to know that my thoughts aren’t just for the wind, and that some ear is picking it up, storing it away somewhere in secret. I just don’t want my mind to be alone. Glazed over.
But a secret observer- that’s better than nothing, right?
Fuck this cabin fever. Making me think, no thanks to my sister though I love her, and resurfacing a winter depression I thought I had beaten this year.
I just don’t want to be wasting my time on anything. I do what I love, and I love what I do, regardless of what that is, but if my inquisitive thoughts and excessive emotion amount to nothing, and it’s all for myself, then I don’t know if it’s something I should be wasting efforts on.
—
What is it about me waking up miserable, finding happiness in small doses in the day, then coming down to an extreme low in the evening before I finally catch some sleep? I do it every night. I fall asleep feeling horrible, I wake up feeling horrible.
Maybe those Gemini horiscope are right: I set high expectations and end up disappointing myself in the end, always.
Well. I guess that’s where my dreams step in and help me resolve things in my subconscious, even if none of it is real.
TL;DR
The title says everything.
I’m never really good with goodbyes because I cry like an inconsolable, crippled baby, but I know that you were somewhere with me yesterday, lifting my recently sad spirit for a day, to avoid a goodbye. Maybe that’s why I felt better yesterday, with only pockets of sadness born from thought-provoking music.
You are, and always will be loved. Now, always missed.
May you rest in peace, Tito Chito.
“I’ll always remember him for that big, cheery voice and ready smile, and his morning visits to my dad. He will be missed.”
-My mom, speaking about him.
Despite the fact that my uncle is three hours late to pick me up for Christmas Eve dinner prep/dinner and nochebuena, I’m still in a holiday spirit. I’ve got my snowflake swag on, my presents wrapped, the pink tree in the corner of my room lit and family waiting to celebrate everything.
Aside from that, I’m leaving for my Georgia/Florida/North Carolina trip in three days. Now, just try and tell me that that isn’t something to be happy about.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
ps. Stayed up until 6am wrapping those presents.