Myth of the Hymen, dodsonandross.com
One of the reasons I wanted to share this was to show the sexualized violence around language of female sexuality. There is no “breaking,” “popping” or otherwise of the hymen— and you don’t lose it, it stays with you your whole life!
So if you’re worried about having penetrative sex for the first time because you think “breaking the hymen” will hurt—relax!
- Use PLENTY of lube (water based with condoms!), even if you think you don’t need it.
- Use condoms, dental dams, or latex gloves (unless you have an allergy to latex, then use non-latex alternatives) with appropriate (Water-based) lube. I always try to get lube without glycerin or parabens because I have sensitive skin and am prone to yeast infections.
- Go SLOWLY and listen to what your body is telling you.
- Masturbate and get comfortable with your own body and sex will be a lot better than if you have no idea what gets you off.
- Don’t rush into it the first time (or even the first few times).
- Sex should be pleasurable. Take your time and experiment with fingers, tongues, and toys.
- Use lube (I cannot stress this enough!)
- Relax and have fun with your partner. Otherwise, what’s the point of having sex?
(Source: feministsextoys, via fuckyeahsexeducation)
Have I ever had “ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact”?
Earlier in this pregnancy, I filled out my “Initial Health History” form for prenatal and birth care. You know: check the box if you’ve experienced severe headaches, diabetes, all sorts of things. After the usual “Emotional abuse,” “Physical abuse,” “Sexual abuse,” I got to this very interesting item: ”ANY unwanted/undesired physical or sexual contact.”
read the link. so spot on.
[trigger warning LIKE WHOA at the link for rape culture, coercion, and general unwanted attention]
Because I can hardly stand the thought of these constant erosions of personhood seeming normal to our daughters and sons.
READ THIS
This was deeply unsettling to read. Because yes, every single thing that she touched on has happened to me, and yes, I consider myself to be one of the “lucky” ones. Ugh. I have had disrespectful doctors, forceful boyfriends, really creepy “friends.”
This should not be the way things are.
Please click the link and read this. It’s not long I promise, but it is so, so good.
I ask all of you to please click the link and read it. Like Nikk says, it isn’t long, but it’s so very good.
It’s an fantastic and important read for all gender identities.
(Source: manifestfreedom)
tl;dr
So, I’m sorting laundry right now to get ready for my trip to Georgia, Florida and North Carolina, and I’m realizing that I really have a lot of black clothing. Aside from that, all of my clothing is either tight fitting or really baggy. The clothes that sort of fit in one place and are baggy in another are in my ew-I-should-leave-this pile.
I guess some days I dress girly, and some days I just dress like a dude. I like my low tops, short skirts, a-line dresses, pumps and boots as much as I like my jeans, cargo pants, loose t-shirts, oversized hoodies, skater sneaks and butch boots. One is definitely more comfortable than the other. One is definitely more flattering than the other. But I guess I just wear whatever on whatever day because I am whatever.
That kind of makes me feel better, packing for this trip. I really do wear a HUGE variety of things, so I shouldn’t worry about looking consistant or whatever. Who really worries about that, anyway? Your body is basically a hanger for whatever clothes you put on, and fashion doesn’t really matter. Besides, clothes only exist to abide by society’s stigma against walking around naked. Imagine if that were totally acceptable?
Ramble over.
Gotta get back to packing.
Basically, anyone that cares about me should read this right now.
My dear, no matter what, I love you as a person.
It takes a lot of strength to admit all that to yourself, and much more to make it publicly known. I’m proud of you.
You are probably one of my favourite people, and I’m really glad that you’re beginning to learn more about yourself, and taking a step closer to reaching your full potential as an individual, internally. This is something I’m learning about myself, too.
Keep on keepin’ on, and don’t ever doubt yourself, because I’d never doubt you (:
(Source: marshmallownipples)